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Hey hi there……, forgive me but I couldn’t think of a better way to start this article. Anyway I hope ya’ll are alive and kicking. And talking of greetings have you guys been greeted by a guy who holds your palm like a vice until you clench in pain or worse it goes numb, or where the other person shakes you crazy until you feel like throwing up or as if your arm is been ripped of your shoulder, damn I met one who did both….. I know you get my point; in short the experience was terrible.
Away from greetings and related matter, and let’s focus on me now for a sec. Hey don’t get bored already, this article ain’t about me it’s probably this paragraph alone, so carry on please. I consider me a two class citizen – and I am not talking of second class mind you – one of the many humble patriots you pump into daily on the streets trying to eke a living, with dreams of a better tomorrow been their sole reason for living with a myriad of problems clanging on their backs like they were part of them.
I am a lover of machines especially the ones that can fly – Subaru included, coz those cars are fly– I am talking about aircrafts, those machines are a marvel it’s just that I can’t afford to travel in them, of cause you know why- if you don’t revisit the second paragraph.
Now to what I can afford
Once In a while we get to travel all of us; the difference is the frequency of the travels and the means. For my kind travelling to the capital attracts wows and appreciation and the icing of it is the means. Buses used to be the common means, because for us two class citizen it was the only means that could accommodate almost all the species of the kingdom animalia without incurring that extra cost. I know you are asking yourself how? Let me break it down for you, that is if you’ve never boarded those long distance public buses.
The first thing that greets you when you board these buses is a foul smell, a cocktail of human sweat and other unknown odour preceded by mean tired looking faces before you squeeze your way along the aisle between ton of luggage’s and shrieking chickens if not bleating goats before finally reaching your seat and easing on it. Then mid way through the journey you decide to open that pack of food you had carried only to attract a dozen pair of hungry eyes and so on. Thank gracious we have shuttles this days that has saved many a person from such agonizing bus travels.
I love my government, the UHURUTO government to be honest and beside that I am a law abiding citizen with a certificate of good conduct to booth, ofcoz for y’all doubting thomases out there. So I follow the law – lol – sorry, letmi rephrase that, I do follow rules where necessary but sometimes I do break them, we all do, for example you may be pressed – Mother nature makes calls when we least expect them – then you see those ‘do not urinate signs’ in town, the irony about them is they are taken with signs of relieve even though they are meant to wade off individuals, and most men in that dire situation will chat a silent prayer whilst rushing to them. Now you get my point.
But there are some laws that somehow get me thinking, especially the ones that are passed by the legislature and I am not talking about bank interest rates? That was one good move by the mpig’s especially when the majority of us cannot ask for soft loans from each other the way Danson and uncle Weta did for fear of ‘kurukwa’.
The laws that I am talking about are those that affect us mortals socially such as alcoblows. Damn I would love to write on those, the practical part of it is so humorous, the way the culprits in their drunken stupor try to defend themselves, it’s pure telenovela. It was a good move to curb road carnages in the country but for this article I will talk about its cousin law the radar gun or laser gun put in place also to curb road accidents. I know some of you are already confused; I am talking about the speed gun y’all, the speed gun.
A speed gun in layman’s definition is a device used to measure the speed of moving objects. Objects mind you, not humans but I somehow have a strong feeling that Usain should be within that classification of objects. Damn that man can go 0-100 in 9 sec, that is way better than most jalopies.
I don’t have any problem with the speed gun personally because I don’t own my own wheels, but I feel the pain some drivers go through. I was on a PSV the other day headed for Eldoret from Nakuru when we were stopped at a road block by law enforcers, ofcoz our vehicle had all the necessary requirements and also the driver kept at the required speed, how I knew, a nineteen eighties Volkswagen beetle overtook us bellowing dark fumes like an overused factory driven by a fogey, who had the luxury to show us a ring in his middle finger grinning at us mockingly while he sped away. Gladly he too was stopped, but made away with it anyway.
Sorry, yeah we were stopped ofcoz so that the driver could give the enforcer their portion. Beside us there were other vehicles of all sizes and shaped including the old man’s beetle, who was somehow allowed to proceed, probably no one cared even if he drove of the mau escarpment – If there was a retirement age for driving he would probably be five years into his pension.
Ok, so there was this Toyota Prado TX driver trying to explain himself to a cop, probably the boss, and what this guys was saying really got my attention. And this is what he said in swahili and I quote. “Haki afande sikuwa najua nina over speed, imagine nilikuwa nimewekelea 2 mguu kwa pedal sikukanyanga ata, kama uniamini shika funguo enda nayo text drive 5 km na urudi, hii gari nakwambia hausikii ikikimbia.”
Which translate in English to; “Sir I wssn’t overspeeding, imagine my leg was leisurely relaxing on the pedal, I didn’t even step on it, if you don’t believe me take it for a test drive for 5km, I tell you this car you can’t tell if it’s speeding.” Too bad the officer was having none of it, probably not getting how a car can go over a hundred with your leg lazing on the pedal. I really felt sorry for the guy.
The limit of 80km/hr is a bad limit. My point is this should not be generalized. Some cars were meant for speed some not. Why would a car with a speedometer reading a max of 330km/hr do eighty kilometers in sixty minutes, that’s doing injustice to the machine? I can imagine been in a Subaru spoilt for a chase only to be curbed at eighty, it doesn’t make sense, I am sure Ian Duncan and Carl would agree with me. So my issue is, In my honest opinion vehicles should do a half of what there speedometers read, the likes of Vitz at one eighty, a limit of eighty is okay. No offense though.
As we proceeded towards Eldoret, I imagined myself cruising in a Lamborghini at eighty, nooo!!! It doesn’t cut for me. Ofcoz there are no lambos’ here but been in a Subaru feels like been in one, so I was told. For me personally, I don’t think doing a speed within the speedometer is over speeding, not with the improved roads, with climbing lanes, clear markings and signage. Maybe the option to the speed gun is through government imposing a rule having cars imported with a speedometer of ninety the extra ten been an allowance for overtaking, just saying.
Hey I am not an enforcer but rules are meant to be broken, if you are an adrenaline junky step on the gas feel the rev of your engine, but ensure that you have loose five thousand shillings just in case, and if the journey is longer be ready to part with more, as for me drive safe even if it’s in your imagination. Adios, I am off to slumber.
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